Chapter Review: Chapter 0

Favorite Moment: Lydia feeling the pain of dying. When i read that, and think about how we have three lives, we actually would feel like we're dying when we die. Which personally would make me want to take care of my "lives" more.
Rating: 8.5/10 due to not much happening yet. High rating cause it was action packed and very well written.
General Comments: You're doing great, I cant wait to see more.

Favorite Moment: Lydia being surrounded by fire and feeling the pain from the flames, scorching her skin. That really puts into perspective, everything that's at stake in the game. The pain is real and the sensation of dying is real. it was an exceptionally intense moment and I'm extremely interested in whoever this new boss happens to be.
Rating: 8.75/10, it has already set up a little bit of what the game world is like, who the final boss may actually be and really set the tone for the whole story.
General Comments: Murrow is such an unrepentant douchebag, it's amazing. Otherwise, excellent work, things can only get better from here. I also can't wait to see more.

Straight off the bat before my main review, -2 points for making me read a chapter entirely from the perspective of a woman. Can you imagine being a gender forced to read the opposite gender an entire chapter? Is this a feminist website? Well feminists still care about so called “diversity” so failed for it being all some chick! Humph, should have been about me.

Main review.

WARNING, HIGH IQ POST INCOMING! LOW IQ INDIVIDUALS DON’T BOTHER READING BELOW, IT’S NOT FOR YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC.

YES YOU, BELOW 80 IQs WON’T ABLE TO GET IT.

Favorite Moment – When my main boy Murrow showed up and mocked her for getting hurt despite years of gaming, and it apparently(I need citations and proof) being her game (a female developer? Bullshit), it was good to bring realism into the story and remind the reader how terrible women are at gaming and fighting.

Rating – 4/10, don’t my credit above wrong, it was still too little too late to fully redeem things. I might be willing to revise this if we’re shown how the girl in the chapter looks like, if you won’t exercise my brain with a basic intro, at least have me know if I can exercise with my ambidextrous hands.

General Comments – Normally a chivalrous man such as myself would not support the actions of Murrow, but that woman was really asking for it, by not only having her own solo chapter, but also seemingly getting uppity about a game she basically stole like it truly is hers. See a high IQ person like myself read the synopsis, she took the source code…..IT’S NOT HER GAME! I know they messed up a bit, but the true creators still deserve credit. Praise to V-Trix Gaming! Free George Dean! #respectfounders #OriginalChairmanAlwaysBetter

I do respect how the writer had the balls to showcase the bad side of female nature(you know, what happens when they aren’t being nurturing and serving man), they devolve into entitlement, sadism, dodging responsibility, and other signs of mental illness.

I don’t think I have to explain how this lost another additional 4 points, if you have a high enough IQ you’d know already and my explanation would be too difficult to comprehend for those who don’t.

Till next time, bye bye everybody!



Favorite Moment – N/A, while it was a great chapter it didn’t really have a particular moment that stood out, as it’s not as if I had a character to root for or something completely out there.

Rating – 8.25

General Comments – I really like how well written it was, how it showcased the psychology of both Murrow and Lydia, and built intrigue about the mysterious “hero”. While Murrow is clearly portrayed as the prima villain for now, anyone who pays attention would see that Lydia seems extremely volatile, a bit sadistic, and is battling demons to the point she clearly isn’t a stereotypical good person even if you could sympathize for her a bit in that scenario, as you know she’s also trying to escape things in life. Also the pain everyone else mentioned above me.

Favorite Moment - The moment as a reader you felt that Lydia was near death. It was well written and perfectly executed to a believable point. The reveal altogether was impressive.

Rating - 9/10

General Comments - It was a good way to get people adjusted to the style of writing and detail put into the story itself. It opens up so many paths that characters will take to get to that final boss. To backtrack on the detail - the detail in the beginning was great as a reader to read. Just that extra amount of effort put in to it makes it all worth reading. I'm excited to see what comes next.