[Chapter Review] Chapter 1: "Fall From Grace"

Admin Posts : 32 Join date : 2018-03-31

Favorite POV (Can include your own) -

Favorite Moment -

Most Shocking Moment -

Favorite Character (Besides your own) -

Rating/General Comments -

Posts : 12 Join date : 2018-04-05

Favorite POV
Champ Eon - This one captured the characters' personality perfectly. I had moments when I laughed at some of the lines and that really was a very nice way to use Isaac's character. Eon didn't feel like a person who took the game seriously. He thinks he's too smart for it.. so I can't wait for reality to hit him in the face in latter chapters and hopefully he will be at the brink of his death.
Nisaku Shimura - It's the very first "non-NPC" POV so I was pretty excited. This one was very action packed and it really kept me reading, to the point where it surprised me how good it was. I really love the flow and the storytelling. I was like "HOLY FUCK" while the chase was happening with the monsters.
Edwin Cooper - This one is nice because it goes in depth with the crisis that you face when you're in the C/O world, and how different people are in what they're going through upon coming into the game. The conversation between Edwin and the Man in White put some things in perspective, and it would be nice to see motives of even the "evil" ones in the future.

Favorite Moment
Rosanna and Leviathan toys Rukia. We are so fucking cruel. Poor Azumi. I can't wait to see how she'll do. I have a feeling I'll get bitchslapped soon enough when she gets sick of my shit. But for real, they all have a nice thing going.

Most Shocking Moment
The very end. The last POV overall with Keemstar-chan. It seems you need to be a fast-thinker because the monsters are going to fucking kill you with no hesitation. Rokuro was mauled and it seemed like it hurt. The detail was simple, yet its all you really need to be in the moment. Good job with that.

Favorite Character:
Rose Shad--- oh, not mine?
Too soon to tell but I like IQ (for the comedy factor), Rian (his shiver-worthy lines) and Dante (the typical anime hero) so far.

Rating/General Comments: 9.3/10 I absolutely love it so far. They are very well written It's a very enjoyable read from top to bottom. I had a little confusion with Killian's POV because of figuring out whos who, so there was some need for me to go back to the Players tab and see the picbases/personalities of them (I'm sure I'll get used to it). I can't wait for more, and I can't wait how you'll put new characters to the mix. Also very excited for Rose Shadow, she seems like a massive bitch.

Also I would like to have more text colors for when I wanna make rainbow comments.

Posts : 2 Join date : 2018-04-21

Favorite POV (Can include your own) -

Edwin - Man, did I absolutely LOVE the tension within this chapter/POV. Edwin's inner-conflict with the Man in White's logic was absolutely superb. I'm very much looking forward to how Edwin reacts to MIW's logic in the coming chapters, because it leaves him open to take the "Last Man Standing" route, even though he is a genuine, hearted soul. I also love MIW's quotes within this chapter. Obviously the Ned Stark quote stood out, but as did "Find the truth in the lie" - I feel that quote in particular might be an omen/a general theme going forward.

Rokuro Naya - Just beautiful. Let me just say, I absolutely loved how you portrayed my character. It was EXACTLY what I intended with the sign up/character description. What a badass. Just the description/foreshadowing leading up to the reveal was chilling. Describing the white-haired man not as a lone wolf, but someone people avoided. Then once the ChaosDex notification come through, confirming my suspicion, I totally marked out. The Bone Collector was short and mysterious with his dialogue, it was absolutely perfect. Just chilling to read. You didn't know what he fully intended. Rokuro should have just listened to his gut feeling.

The ending sequence was amazing, with Rian just wanting to experience how death felt like. It was so non-chalant with how you described Rian's first death, just with "The beast ripped out Rian's throat" - then once it's Rokuro's turn to be feasted upon, the description was so thorough, so real and harsh/painful. Just the pinnacle intense moment of the series thus far, and it was done masterfully. Just an amazing way to end the first chapter, and the perfect inclination at how other people can screw you over in this game.

Favorite Moment - Rosanna and Leviathan tying up Rukia to a tree, that way she can't escape without their help. It was just so intense, cunning, and manipulative. I loved it. What assholes.

Most Shocking Moment - It HAS to be the very last ending sequence in the last POV of the chapter. Rokuro being led astray, led to a fucking cerberus attack.

Favorite Character - A three-way tie between Edwin, Man in White, and Champ. Champ was just so hilarious and oblivious as a POV character. So innocent and naive. I touched upon Edwin already, as he is morally sound, but has the understanding/manipulation that he might need to do more than just rest on his yanny (laurel)s. His character backstory makes him hard to root against. I'm very much hoping that he and Rian have some interactions. Same with the Man in White, who is just so perfectly mysterious, I want MORE of him.

Rating/General Comments - 9/10: only because I know going forward you're going to make these chapters look like chump change. What a start, though. As someone who isn't an anime watcher or anything, you had me hooked from the get-go. All the POVs were very compelling, I wish I could comment on all of them individually within just this singular post, but I'm too lazy for that. I know you did an amazing job writing my character in the short description/sign up I gave you, so I'm just going to assume everybody is feeling what I am. Your ability to tell a story is just as excellent as it was when you were writing matches, but obviously better. You progressed the story with every POV, while just upping the intrigue from the previous chapter. Just love the overall atmosphere where people feel they must rely on one another, but as seen in the last chapter and Rukio's - trusting people is only going to put you in danger. What a conundrum. This is going to be one intense ride.

Posts : 5 Join date : 2018-05-20

Favorite POV (Can include your own) - Rokuro and Nisaku were the ones I absolutely loved, with Rukia's as a close second

Favorite Moment - The initial pack split, the whole fake village was a good ploy and had great consequences we saw for the first time in the game.

Most Shocking Moment - Last moment in Rokuro's POV, it was not something I was expecting and I'm glad it wasn't. The story behind him and the building up between these two characters were great.

Favorite Character (Besides your own) -Rokuro, and Nisaku

Rating/General Comments - Overall the story was great and set a precedent over what is to come next in the following chapters. The development of each character was great and it gave me a sense of who to root for and who is going to become a pain for everyone in the future.

Posts : 18 Join date : 2018-04-07

Favorite POV (Can include your own) -

Mine

Favorite Moment -

I liked everything.

Most Shocking Moment -

Rokuro pov, what happened with him and Rian.

Favorite Character (Besides your own) -

Edwin Cooper

Rating/General Comments - 9

» Chapter 1: "Fall From Grace"
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» Chapter 2: "Trial By Fire"
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